Sunday, May 20, 2012
All My Friends Are Talking about Leaving*
A couple of nights ago, I went to a going-away party. Friends are off to live the adventure they'd postponed for work and family responsibilities. They'll build a house by the sea, hike, canoe, and weave themselves into the fabric of a new community. I wish them well.
And miss them like hell although they won't leave town for two weeks.
Another friend lost a job locally and found a better one almost 600 miles away. Email keeps us together. In a way. After a fashion.
What am I saying? It's not the same.
Friends have left for job transfers, suburban school systems, and retirement. You'd think I'd have gotten used to saying good-bye.
But no. It gets harder, not easier. In college, it was easy to corral potential friends into a study group. As a new mother, it was a cinch to start a playgroup for toddlers/gab session for moms. Later, co-workers became friends because we had a lot in common--and our jobs ate into our non-working hours, making it tough to balance family life, never mind outside friendships.
Goodbyes have made me reluctant to befriend someone new. There's a woman at my exercise place who's snarky about issues and nice about people. That's a combination I like, but I haven't mustered the energy to invite her for dinner. What if she's allergic to cats? What if Hubs and her significant other have zero in common? What if? What if?
Over the next few days, I'll remind myself I haven't lost the friends preparing to leave town; I've gained a reason to visit the Outer Banks.
Will I believe it?
Not a chance.
*Thanks to The Head and The Heart for the title